Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Be Kind To Your Eyes....

As I write this I have officially been wearing my glasses for 14 days! (This is not a happy exclamation point, by the way) For anyone who knows me well, my "goodnight" routine consists of throwing on my pajamas, quickly un-tucking every cover on the bed, grabbing Andre, and snoozing. This, however, leaves little time for those minor details such as washing one's face, and more importantly removing the contacts. I know, I know....my grandmother is cringing as I write.

Well after 5 years of eye abuse, my little guys decided to fight back resulting in a swollen inflamed eye and a trip to the local lens crafters :( Iritis, corneal scratches, 2 prescriptions later, 2 doctors visits (1 still to come tomorrow) and the verdict is out....I AM NOT A GLASSES WEARER!

Below please find the reasons why I loathe those medal framed magnifyers known as glasses.....

One:  I live in Florida, I drive in Florida. The SUNSHINE state!  Equaling a perma-squint and impending crow's feet. Enough said!

Two: Clearly the inventor of glasses was a male as he never considered how one might apply make-up either while wearing glasses, or worse yet, removing them. Can we say clown face?

Three: I am convinced that my eyes don't acknowledge that my body is awake without the presence of plastic contacts inserted resulting in sleepy feeling eyes ALL the time.

Four: And then there is the nerd push-up! I have yet to determine a more subtle or attractive manner in which to push up frames that are sliding down my nose other than the classic one-finger push-up in the center of the frames. Picture steve-urkle...not pretty.

I in know way mean to offend all you glasses-wearing beauties out there, I am just simply not one of them. I feel much more like the 80 year old librarian than the attractive boy fantasy version.  And apparently I actually look much more like a 17 year old girl than a soon-to-be 25 year old married woman as my eye doctor so kindly informed me that, " he would try very hard to have me out of glasses by the time my birthday rolls around. He knows that is VERY important to me!" I mean, cmon, do I really still look young enough to care about my birthday outfit? Sigh...this is what I get for having a baby face!

Wish me luck tomorrow....


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